It’s not that I don’t want to move on, I do. I really do. I want to live in the present and be where I am and all that other stuff that happens when it’s happening, yada yada amen. But I can’t.
I can’t stop wearing red lipstick and I can’t stop putting french mustard on my eggs. I stand in the shower while James stands outside of it, shaving for work or brushing his teeth and I say, “Remember when we were in Paris?” and he doesn’t answer, which is fine, I don’t need him to, I remember Paris.
We hopped off the boat in Boston on Sunday and we had somewhere to be. Should we take a cab or walk? It’s kind of a far walk, like 30 minutes and I said, it’s just like Paris, we can walk. So we walked. It wasn’t really like Paris at all so we took a cab back to the boat when we were done being where we needed to be.
Summer’s leaving, I’m not sad about it, I love the fall. I love the way a sweater hangs in the fall and I love the absence of humidity and I love the way a book reads when it’s cold out. It reads much better, in case you were wondering. I’m hoping Fall will pull me back to the present. New England is perfect in the fall.
Can we have a Halloween party? I ask a million times. He doesn’t think it will work, we don’t live close to anyone. If only we lived in Paris, I wouldn’t need a Halloween party, I think. It isn’t true, I’m sure I’d need one. I’d make everyone fly there and I’d hand them all pumpkin flavored beers with cinnamon rims. Should I just buy pumpkins early and put them on the steps? Or maybe I’ll keep buying candles in jars that remind me of Paris because they say BOULANGERIE and smell like figs. I still want a Halloween party.
We got our first Paris painting framed and I hung it on the nails that were already there, and it hangs way too high and he said he can fix it but I said who cares? It’s PARIS, it can go wherever it wants. And I’m sure, pretty soon, I’ll stop making sense and people will stop calling me because I’ll be one of those people who always says, “OH THAT REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE TIME, IN PARIS…………………….”