Typically, Tuesdays on The Paleo Project are for TwoFaced posts. It’s a day where I share a new recipe. An idea, born 23 weeks ago, where Melissa and I decided we would choose one ingredient to focus on and create two meals. We keep it Paleo, and each week, switch between a: meat, fat, vegetable, fruit, herb, spice or nut. Today is Tuesday, or so I’m told. But today I have no recipe to share with you. I am in a unique situation this week. I have been picked up, driven and placed into the custody of my mother, who lives in a little lake cottage in Massachusetts, until my ankle heals properly.
For new readers: I usually live in Rhode Island with James (who works a really hectic schedule) and last Tuesday, I suffered a really bad sprain. I do not have a job or children, which makes relocating painfully easy.
Being here means several things, but the most notable thing is the presence of a model kitchen. A kitchen that has 40 knives and nothing to cut. A brand new fridge, and nothing to keep cold. The oven is for housing snacks, and the cupboards are filled with things like cigarettes and hammers.
This week, I learned a lot of things. Things about life and myself, and less important things like ankles and that I need an iced coffee every single day. So, instead of sharing a recipe, or an inspiring video, in which I cry in front of strangers, I’ll just share things I learned about and hope that you learned something new, as well. Discomfort can be difficult, but it is great for self-exploration. It makes you grow and stretch and learn and it makes you cry, too.
1. I learned that when faced with criticism about finding myself good looking, I am only more certain that I am, in fact, good looking. More so when crying. But also, that I am strong and smart and witty and loved.
2. When I was bullied in middle school, my mom called the other girls’ mothers and fought my battles. I’m sure, had I let her, she would have done the same thing on Sunday. But I learned that fighting your own battle is extremely empowering. Plus, your mom’s number wasn’t listed.
3. I guess on some level, I knew I was coming to stay here for an undetermined amount of time. Yet I only brought two pair of underwear, one shirt and three pair of sweatpants. Also, a fancy maxi dress. Oh and one Sperry shoe and one slipper. You see, I was crutching around my apartment trying not to wake James up and things like clothing really didn’t seem important. I now regret this and would really like someone to lend me another slipper.
4. I learned that James and I disagree about a lot of things regarding ankle injuries. I think I should be carried, pampered and sung lullabies to before drifting off to pain-killer induced naps. James thinks I should spend my days plunging into buckets of ice, learning to crutch better and somehow, in the midst of all this plunging and crutching, find time to shave my legs.
5. I actually must mention just how lucky I am to have James. Thanks to him, I was not alone when injury occurred, at the ER, or the days that followed. He also took me to the doctor today, sat with me while waiting for more x-rays, drove me around, fed me and said he liked my new boot.
6. I learned that little girls, who have been told they are beautiful, and smart, and strong, and kind, turn out to be exactly that.
7. And finally, I discovered the power of the Internet. I learned it can hurt you and it can heal you. I had a moment where I asked myself, should I continue to put myself out there? Will this all be worth it? Can I handle this type of bashing by strangers? I decided yes, I should, I will and I can. This is my blog. I made it and I love it and I am so proud of how far it has come. I have been lucky, and somewhat misled, because my readership, until Saturday, has been so kind and supportive. When all you’ve known is sunshine, you can never prepare properly for a storm. But once you’ve faced one, you at least have a better grasp of the aftermath. You see that you got through it once and you should, will and can again.
Happy Tuesday. Please send slipper.