11pm, Tweet – “Heading to NYC tomorrow morning!!! (insert millions of emojis about taxi cabs and hearts and buildings)”
3:30-4am - WAKE UP IT’S TIME FOR NEW YORKKKK, make espresso, eat hard boiled eggs, leftover carrots and sweet potatoes, put on 12 layers, pack backpack, start car
4:05am – depart from Providence, James is upset because we were supposed to leave at 4 on the dot.
4-7am – James drives, I have car anxiety, I hold my breath the entirety of the trip, Frankie Valli plays in the background and we talk about how 4am looks a lot like 11pm.
7am – I’m copilot, we’re on track, almost there, take wrong exit, almost cry, James says, are you going to cry? I say no, we turn around and see a sunrise on a bridge that makes me not cry.
7:30am – we park, go to a diner where there is a draft and stale coffee, we eat more eggs.
8am – James walks me three blocks this way, three blocks that way, to Stumptown Coffee/Ace Hotel where I plan to work remote for the day. We enter another Portlandia scene, where coffee is $18 per dixie cup and everyone dresses like they are in Mumford & Sons. I think of asking barista to teach me latte art and chalkboard writing. I don’t.
9am – James heads back to take a class for the day and I set up work station. I make friends with a girl. We have an unspoken agreement to watch each other’s laptops while the other pees. I notice it is extremely cold in this place as well. I keep all 12 layers on, put my hat back on and sip cappuccino slowly.
10am – I have a redheaded waitress now who calls everybody “love” and touches people a lot. I hope she doesn’t touch me but allow her to call me “love”. Every time she comes back over she has a new shirt on. I order a pot of lavender/chamomile tea.
11am – My ‘friend’ leaves and I feel abandoned. I order a coffee. I now have had too much coffee in too short a time period. I’m cold and have no one to watch my laptop. I go on Pinterest to pass the time.
130-2pm – First and oldest and dearest college friend meets me for lunch. We ask redheaded waitress for a seat for her. She says no. We share a seat and laugh and hug and take photos and order expensive salads that never come. She leaves without lunch, I should have peed while she was here.
3pm – My overpriced meatless salad shows up that is actually not a salad but a tarte filled with goat cheese and leeks and I’m not impressed.
4pm – I get anxiety that a weird NYC apocalypse will happen while James and I are separated in the city so I pack up my stuff and walk to where his class is, just in case. I see this sign and then the place smells like cigarettes and again, is almost as cold indoors as outdoors so I order another tea and try not to fall asleep on a couch.
6pm – James is done class, we hail a cab to the West Village and eat at Cafe Cluny which is pretty affordable as far as NYC goes and pretty adorable like a Parisienne bistro. They seat us in a horrible corner thing on top of another couple who is not amused. Our waiter tells us the types of sausages in James’ meal and I drink a glass of wine to my face.
7:30pm – We pay 62 billion dollars for parking and drive out of the city covered in a daze of caffeinated exhaustion and bright lights. I fall asleep with a hat and coat on that never actually left my body all day.
11pm – Almost home, but seems so far, I wake up and we play this game I made up once where you say a compound word and then the person has to say a new compound word using your last word: “daylight” “lightshow” “showroom” “roomaskdjalskdj” I quit, I can’t think of one. We talk about how 11pm looks a lot like 4am.
11:30pm, Tweet – “NYC update: we’re not in NYC anymore. Tiredest I’ve ever been! Ever. Goodnight.”