One time I was sleeping over Chelsey’s house and I had a headache. I was thirteen but for some reason, even at thirteen, I couldn’t take it upon myself to tell her parents I needed some Tylenol. Instead, I decided to go to bed with a headache. Chelsey had this couch that folded out into a bed on the floor and I slept there often when we were young. I woke up and it was dark. Not dark like 10 pm and not dark like 5am, no it was dark like 1 am. The very middle of the night. I was in so much pain, I couldn’t even open my eyes to the darkness. I woke Chelsey up and she fumbled for her glasses because she takes her contacts out at night, something I always thought must be a lot of work to worry about when you’re tired, but she was very good about it. She woke her parents and sometime between waking them up and calling my mom, I started to cry. I had never felt such an uncontrollable pain. My mom slept through the first few phone calls, so I called my aunt who had to wake her up. If you call my mom in the middle of the night, her first assumption is that it is the state police calling to tell her that you’re dead which isn’t funny because that happens, but it’s always funny until it’s true. She came and picked me up and took me to the Emergency Room and as soon as the tylenol kicked in, I fell asleep and the next time I felt a headache, I took medicine very quickly and rarely felt that sick again.
I wasn’t stressed back then and I chalk those headaches up to the way I ate or the tightness of my braces but I was never really sure. They are much less frequent now.
Then yesterday, my head began to hurt. I had eaten very well, had coffee, wasn’t due for my period and drank plenty of water so I was confused. But then I realized how much pressure I had put on myself for the past two weeks. I think it began when I got a new manager who I’m trying to impress and then when I took on a new project that I am so excited about, I realized how badly I want to succeed. Maybe more so than anything I’ve ever done. The deadline for SweatRX approached so quickly because they went from 4 issues a year to 6 issues a year and I realized I was running out of daytime light for photographing the recipes that had yet to be made. On top of all of that, James and I booked flights to Chicago for his sister’s marathon before realizing there were no hotels available. We couldn’t cancel the flights without losing our money so we were panicking about where we would stay and how much it would cost. Then we both realized we had our excise tax to pay this month and school loans and we’re still catching up from Paris and how can we buy a house or have a family when we struggle for two people and and and. I was trying to calm him down and act like we were fine but I think sometimes everything just catches up with you and for me, it culminates in the form of a dull, but persistent pain on my entire head and neck.
So that’s how I feel today and yes, I know I’m not alone, we’re all trying to get by, every single day, living pay check to pay check while trying to have a social life and travel and pay off our school debt. Anyway, my headache is passing and the weekend is almost here, so let’s all hug and move on. Tell me something good, will ya? Or tell me what’s been stressing you out. I’m a really good listener.
24 comments :
Something stressful: my period came a week late! That was NOT a fun few days.
Something fun: one of my best friends is getting married tomorrow! AND I’m playing the piano for her ceremony. So maybe that part is stressful, too.
Wishing you less pain and more joy.
I can totally feel your pain. I’ve suffered from migraines for I guess 10 years now and have been able to link them to stress. It’s hard to relax when you’ve got so much on your mind. My advice: get outside early morning or at night for some cool, fresh air (go for a walk), pour yourself a cup of strong coffee (caffeine helps to relieve the migraine), and take 10 minutes to lay down with no distractions/email/reminders. Always works for me. Love ya girl. xx
I totally thought “excise tax” said “exercise tax” and I was like where does she love that you have to pay that?!
You should check out Craigslist Chicago to see if there are any possibilities of houses/apartments for rental that weekend. I know that I’ve had friends use that before when they went to Austin for SXSW and a few other events it worked out perfectly. Plus they saved money on food since they cooked most of their meals at the house.
TELL ME ABOUT IT. lost my job on wednesday, but have something temp starting in a week so all is not lost. but will mean living hand to mouth for gods knows how long, PLUS supposed to be starting my masters next week, so the financial pressure is immense. FUN TIMES!!!
Oh man! I am so sorry you lost your job. I lost mine last winter and it was a really difficult time for me. I’m happy you have something in the pipeline so quickly and I’ll pray a good job comes your way soon! XO
Jenna can I give you a hug, please? And can we be friends if I ever get to move to Rhode Island? We can go get coffee and talk about paleo recipes and share photos of Paris. My Aunt Debra (who lives in Jamestown) could come along because you would love her and you could help me convince her she needs to write an advice column much like yours.
Both stressful and good: I left a well paying job that made me very unhappy earlier this year, so now I’m much happier, but broke. Right now aside from the lack of ocean in my life everything is great, though. Got full time status at work (yay health insurance) and today am enjoying a rainy day off.
Yes Amy! HUGHUGHUG. I really admire you leaving that job for the lower paying, better suited job. That’s how most romcoms end, you know? YAY HEALTH insurance is RIGHT!
Jenna, I have suffered from migraines since way before 13. I have missed a lot of school and work because of them. I’m not a huge fan of taking medicine every day, so I have always shied away from prescriptions that my doctor suggests… I am in the same boat as you..trying to pay the mortgage, trying to pay off student loans, worrying about not having enough money for social stuff, trying to find time to eat healthy, work out, work a full time job, etc. etc… buttttttttttttt I do have a few tips tho… Caffiene does help!! So does a dark room. So does massaging your fingertips very slowly and really conentrating on it. There is a pressure point between your thumb and index finger. Pinch it hard. It will hurt more when you have a headache, naturally. Put a cold cloth on your neck because a lot of migraines start there. Also, put one on your head. Sometimes some or all of these work, sometimes nothing works. In that case, just go in your bed, turn all the lights off, pray you can fall asleep, and within a couple days it should be gone… Good luck girl! You are way too pretty to be so stressed
Holly – thanks for the comment and tips! I actually knew you had suffered from these for some reason and I’m so sorry about that. Sounds like you have a good little system! Hope you’re doing well! XO
Oh, I felt so bad for you as I was reading this. And the more I read, the faster I read, I could just feel your stress bouncing off the screen. In our house, we call that a spiral. I’ve had a few migraines in my lifetime, all in my twenties, and all related to stress. At the time older people would tell me, “this too shall pass”, and “that which does not kill you makes you stronger”, and “it will all work out, you’ll see”. All of those statements pissed me off, and convinced me that older people were stupid and couldn’t possibly understand what I was going through. Now I’m an “older person”, and looking back on the past fifty years, I can assure you, that which does not kill you will make you stronger, it really will all work out – you’ll see, and…this too shall pass. And, my own personal words of wisdom, you are going to be fine.
P.S. One last pearl, “Be good to yourself”.
You’re so wise, Gayla! No wonder Melissa turned out so damned perfect!
xx e-hug
right backatcha!
Something stressful- One income family of 7 (4 boys all athletes-who are always hungry), trying to eat as healthy as possible and buy grass fed beef-We just did a new budget and our food budget is equal to our house payment!
Something fun-My little girl just started ballet, was counting the days till she turned three and could start! Best thing ever:) Also my youngest son, he is 8, had tryouts this week for his first AAU Basketball Team and coach called, he made the team, yay!!
Feel better Jenna!! xo
This comment just gave me anxiety but seriously, you make it work somehow and honestly? If you can do it with four kids, then I can probably do it for myself. Thanks for the perspective, XO
Also, just realized you have 5 kids. So ya. Ok
I share these exact problems. Someone once told me “when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on”.
I hope you’re feeling better! Usually a nap cures the migraine for me.
Thank you Jenn. I think that’s a really good reminder… there’s always more we can do!
Jenna, I just found your blog and can tell it will be a good read already. I love the part in your About Me where you said solidarity saved you but had to break you first. I really couldn’t describe more accurately what happened to me in my 23rd and 24th year. It seemed I spent a lot of time in my bed, crying. But it was a great time of personal reflection and I think it was truly necessary. I still cry about every other day in the shower but it’s more of a stress reliever than anything! At 25 I think I’ve figured things out a little bit (I hope).
I also suffered from migraines from very young. My first memory of one is in 3rd grade. They were chronic for awhile but I got a better handle on them and now I rarely get one. When I do though, I usually lay in a dark room pressing on a pressure point and doing what I can only describe as meditating – imagining my head pain free. Naps usually help, as does taking a walk outside. I feel for you, girl!
Hi Leslie, I’m so glad you found me! I’ve been finding a lot that many women go through this at 22-25 stage. It really should be a course offered in college to prepare us for the anxiety that comes from finishing school or the surge in our hormones. I mean am I right!? I also was told once by a friend that your brain isn’t fully developed until age 25 so maybe that helps us understand things much better. I’m counting down the months (4 to be exact) until this happens for me. XOXO THanks for reading
jenna, i feel your pain in multiple ways. I’ve been suffering migraines for years. several neurologists, medication changes, etc and they still continue. i track them, the intensity and other factors and we have a pretty good idea why they happen but stress is a huge factor. in todays world, we have so much to take care of. phone, car insurance, credit card, student loans, i now pay tuition for grad school, payments for my car….working 40+ hours and doing homework. its a hard balancing act that i think we will all have forever, but we have each other and thats what counts.
Thank you babe, here’s wishing you can find more time to relax but I’m really proud of you for furthering your education! Love ya!
I miss sleepvers – the one without the headaches of course.
I miss watching Friends in your living room.