One time I was sleeping over Chelsey’s house and I had a headache. I was thirteen but for some reason, even at thirteen, I couldn’t take it upon myself to tell her parents I needed some Tylenol. Instead, I decided to go to bed with a headache. Chelsey had this couch that folded out into a bed on the floor and I slept there often when we were young. I woke up and it was dark. Not dark like 10 pm and not dark like 5am, no it was dark like 1 am. The very middle of the night. I was in so much pain, I couldn’t even open my eyes to the darkness. I woke Chelsey up and she fumbled for her glasses because she takes her contacts out at night, something I always thought must be a lot of work to worry about when you’re tired, but she was very good about it. She woke her parents and sometime between waking them up and calling my mom, I started to cry. I had never felt such an uncontrollable pain. My mom slept through the first few phone calls, so I called my aunt who had to wake her up. If you call my mom in the middle of the night, her first assumption is that it is the state police calling to tell her that you’re dead which isn’t funny because that happens, but it’s always funny until it’s true. She came and picked me up and took me to the Emergency Room and as soon as the tylenol kicked in, I fell asleep and the next time I felt a headache, I took medicine very quickly and rarely felt that sick again.
Then yesterday, my head began to hurt. I had eaten very well, had coffee, wasn’t due for my period and drank plenty of water so I was confused. But then I realized how much pressure I had put on myself for the past two weeks. I think it began when I got a new manager who I’m trying to impress and then when I took on a new project that I am so excited about, I realized how badly I want to succeed. Maybe more so than anything I’ve ever done. The deadline for SweatRX approached so quickly because they went from 4 issues a year to 6 issues a year and I realized I was running out of daytime light for photographing the recipes that had yet to be made. On top of all of that, James and I booked flights to Chicago for his sister’s marathon before realizing there were no hotels available. We couldn’t cancel the flights without losing our money so we were panicking about where we would stay and how much it would cost. Then we both realized we had our excise tax to pay this month and school loans and we’re still catching up from Paris and how can we buy a house or have a family when we struggle for two people and and and. I was trying to calm him down and act like we were fine but I think sometimes everything just catches up with you and for me, it culminates in the form of a dull, but persistent pain on my entire head and neck.
So that’s how I feel today and yes, I know I’m not alone, we’re all trying to get by, every single day, living pay check to pay check while trying to have a social life and travel and pay off our school debt. Anyway, my headache is passing and the weekend is almost here, so let’s all hug and move on. Tell me something good, will ya? Or tell me what’s been stressing you out. I’m a really good listener.